The Bike Wife 1.0: Things to be excited about...

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Things to be excited about...

1. Our 1 year anniversary! In 8 days it will have been a year since our I-do's. A year since one very whirlwind, friend-filled, smile-filled, love-filled (bike-filled) wedding. Ahh I want to do it all again! Is anyone with me?

2. Scott's good friend's new girlfriend just got a mountain bike. This is so exciting... This like, increases the amount of girls I have to ride with by 66%! She may be a beginner but she is fit, and enthusiastic. And really, the latter is all you need to have fun.

3. My second DH race! At the end of October there will be a race in Weaverville, CA, which I've been to as a spectator before, but obviously never raced. I dont even know what the course looks like. But I'm excited to test my luck/my husband's patience again and give racing another shot.

4. Oktoberfest @ Seirra Nevada. There may even be leiderhosen involved. Enough said.

And now for a story of absurd proportions:
Last Sunday, my friend & I went to Taste of Chico. (An event they schedule in the hottest part of the year, where food and drink vendors sit outside for 4 hours while un-suspecting poison free stomachs consume several tastings & beverages.) Actually its really fun, and I heard there was only one food poisoning outbreak several years ago.
Anyway, while we were roaming around, we passed by one of the trendier salons downtown, and a young girl out front asked us if we wanted to enter a drawing for a free facial. Um, yes please! So we each filled out her card and moved along with our gorging.
Low and behold, I received a call that evening from the facial girl informing me I was her Grand Prize Winner and I won a free facial for me AND 5 friends! And a gift card!!! I told her I was fairly sure I didn't even have 5 girlfriends, but she informed me that I would be surprised how many girlfriends I had when handing out free facials.... I suppose so. So she got my email address & promised to email all the fun details, and we would have this fun girls pampering day the following Saturday (ie; today).
I called my 4 closest girl friends, and my mom who happened to be coming to town that day. Everyone is stoked. And then I get the email....
It sounds great. Exfoliation, moisturizing, lip treatments.... and a gift card for me. Fantastic... and then I see it. The pink signature beneath the gal's name.
Mary Kay

Shit.

This girl is going to be hocking her pink products all during the facial isnt she? So I bribe my beautiful friends with the promise of mimosas pre-facial experience. And I break it to them. Put your training wheels back on your bike of life ladies, we're going to a freaking Mary Kay party.

This girl told me I would have more friends than I ever knew when I was offering up free facials. What she left out was, that I would have no friends when the facials were over, because I scammed them.
Thank God I have friends that love me no matter what. (I think. I still have yet to follow up with one or two). There was no facial experience. It was just rubbing cream after cream on my poor unsuspecting face. In fact the best part was when she handed me a hot washcloth to wash off certain products. I'd forgotten how good that can feel. Ha. Oh, and my free gift certificate? That was the 'discount' one gets for hosting a Mary Kay party. $15. Scam.

However, a few enjoyable quotes from our fearless pink product leader:
"When you apply this serum, it opens up your pores and the oil just pours out of them" (visual created)
(When asked about the ingredients in a product) "Well, I dont really know whats in it but just trust me, it's amazing"
and my personal favorite:
"Your skin is an organ, and it goes to sleep at night just like all your other organs do"

The most fantastic part to this whole story is what happened 2 hours later. My friend that was at Taste of Chico with me came to the Mary Kay ambush today. She also had entered the drawing for the facial at in front of the fancy salon. And low and behold... she got a call informing her that she was the winner of a Pampering Party! Can you believe it? And she gets to pick 5 friends to get pampered too!
She declined.

2 comments:

MrsConceptionSeptember 19, 2011 at 8:16 PM
Seriously, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying right now. I may be peeing a little too.
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LoriSeptember 21, 2011 at 5:57 PM
LOVE IT! i've never been invited to one of those things before :( maybe you can invite me the next time i'm in chico? haha
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Bike Babble

Here's a list of terms to help decipher what the #@&*! I'm blogging about:

Berm - a turn in a trail, usually built up with hard packed dirt, or sometimes wood/rock. A berm's purpose is to allow/withstand the weight of a rider making an aggressive turn.

Chamois - the padded spandex shorts worn under loose mountain bike shorts, and never, ever on its own. Also, should never be worn a minute longer than absolutely necessary. Like a condom.

Clapped Out - and old, well used bike. It may have been nice at one time, but is now a POS.

Clipless - bicycle pedals that clip in to one's bike shoes, thus making the human and the bike into one cohesive unit.

DH - downhill; as in DH bike (more travel), or DH trail. Downhill mountain biking is gravity assisted decent down a mountain, usually with technical features like jumps, drops, and rocky sections. DH races are very technical, usually no climbing, and are only a few minutes in length.

Enduro - A multi-staged race that includes both climbing and descending, and can also include being shuttled to the top of a trail or mountain. Timed stages are usually downhill, un-timed stages uphill.

Fire Road - a large, wide open trail, usually the width of a 4-wheeler or truck, typically smoother dirt or gravel. Preferred by roadies who are trying to mountain bike.

Fork - the front end of the bike, below the handle bars. The fork compresses (see "travel") anywhere from 2-8 inches on a mountain bike , depending on the type, to allow for more aggressive riding.

Free Riding - a broader range of mountain bikers; generally used to describe individuals who build their own trails, use natural features as stunts, are creative in trail/jump building. Will hike-a-bike for good DH trail riding, will put blood, sweat, and tears into good trail building.

Full Suspension - front and rear suspension on a mountain bike: the fork in front, and a rear shock in back. Contrasts with a hard tail (a mountain bike with suspension only in the front) or a road bike or cruiser (no suspension at all).

Gap - the distance between the take off and landing of a jump or drop, ie: the spot where you and your bike are in the air.

Hucking - to commit to a very large jump, drop, or gap, usually a very large stunt.

Loamy - soft, highly organic dirt. Desirable. Not rocky. Think Oregon and Washington conditions.

MTB - Mountain Biking

North Rim - A local Chico trail that is extremely rough and rocky. Quite steep in some places, less in others, but a steady climb for several miles. There are barely any trees, and it is the bane of my existence.

Shred - to ride vigorously, synonymous with "ripping" and "killing it".

Shuttle - the means of getting up to the top of a mountain/hill where a downhill trail starts. Usually in the form of a truck, or "shuttle truck".

Single Track - a narrow trail that is approximately the width of the bike. It is frequently smooth and flowing, but it may also exhibit technical rocky sections and may be criss-crossed with tree roots. Considered the best type of trail on which to ride mountain bikes.

Super D - a long downhill race with some climbing. Not nearly as much climbing as in XC, or as long of a race. Usually Super D has more technical downhill features, and lasts 20-30 minutes.

Travel - the amount that the fork is able to compress, thus, the larger amounts of force the bike can withstand.

XC - Cross Country, as in XC bike (less travel) or XC trail (uphill & downhill). XC racing is up and down hills, and courses are typically several miles long, and can take 2-4 hours to complete.