The Bike Wife 1.0: Shit Mountain Bikers Say

Friday, January 20, 2012

Shit Mountain Bikers Say

Its finally raining! And by that, I mean I think the clouds are watching PS I Love You on repeat, and the waterworks are so intense that they dont even remember what they're crying about... its just SO SAD! (But really, one of my favorite girly Id-never-admit-it-anywhere-else movies. Watch it). And by all that, really my point: it's pouring rain. So no more MTB for awhile.

Which is sad. Ive been riding a fair amount lately, but the best part is all of my rides have been challenging. Every ride I've done in 2012 has included some feature I've never been able to do before. Rock slabs. Drops and G-outs. Steep lava descents. Of course I have no photographic proof (although as mentioned before, there will be some video proof once compiled). Super fun, and motivating. Successfully completing new and scary challenges is such a great feeling. So stoked.

Unfortunately some of said features lashed back, and I had two pretty impressive crashes this week. Not stoked. My neck and back are a bit out of whack, and could probably use this rain induced bike hiatus.

And in NZ news, the big pointless expensive English test is TOMORROW. Eeep. I havent studied a thing... Re: I've been speaking/studying/reading/writing/understanding English my whole life. I cant shake the annoyed feeling over having to complete this step of NZ nursing reg. But I know its just a hoop to weed out lazy people. (And I guess the few that actually don't know their Inglush.) So wish me luck, I guess.

I'd like to leave you with this video that made me giggle.

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Bike Babble

Here's a list of terms to help decipher what the #@&*! I'm blogging about:

Berm - a turn in a trail, usually built up with hard packed dirt, or sometimes wood/rock. A berm's purpose is to allow/withstand the weight of a rider making an aggressive turn.

Chamois - the padded spandex shorts worn under loose mountain bike shorts, and never, ever on its own. Also, should never be worn a minute longer than absolutely necessary. Like a condom.

Clapped Out - and old, well used bike. It may have been nice at one time, but is now a POS.

Clipless - bicycle pedals that clip in to one's bike shoes, thus making the human and the bike into one cohesive unit.

DH - downhill; as in DH bike (more travel), or DH trail. Downhill mountain biking is gravity assisted decent down a mountain, usually with technical features like jumps, drops, and rocky sections. DH races are very technical, usually no climbing, and are only a few minutes in length.

Enduro - A multi-staged race that includes both climbing and descending, and can also include being shuttled to the top of a trail or mountain. Timed stages are usually downhill, un-timed stages uphill.

Fire Road - a large, wide open trail, usually the width of a 4-wheeler or truck, typically smoother dirt or gravel. Preferred by roadies who are trying to mountain bike.

Fork - the front end of the bike, below the handle bars. The fork compresses (see "travel") anywhere from 2-8 inches on a mountain bike , depending on the type, to allow for more aggressive riding.

Free Riding - a broader range of mountain bikers; generally used to describe individuals who build their own trails, use natural features as stunts, are creative in trail/jump building. Will hike-a-bike for good DH trail riding, will put blood, sweat, and tears into good trail building.

Full Suspension - front and rear suspension on a mountain bike: the fork in front, and a rear shock in back. Contrasts with a hard tail (a mountain bike with suspension only in the front) or a road bike or cruiser (no suspension at all).

Gap - the distance between the take off and landing of a jump or drop, ie: the spot where you and your bike are in the air.

Hucking - to commit to a very large jump, drop, or gap, usually a very large stunt.

Loamy - soft, highly organic dirt. Desirable. Not rocky. Think Oregon and Washington conditions.

MTB - Mountain Biking

North Rim - A local Chico trail that is extremely rough and rocky. Quite steep in some places, less in others, but a steady climb for several miles. There are barely any trees, and it is the bane of my existence.

Shred - to ride vigorously, synonymous with "ripping" and "killing it".

Shuttle - the means of getting up to the top of a mountain/hill where a downhill trail starts. Usually in the form of a truck, or "shuttle truck".

Single Track - a narrow trail that is approximately the width of the bike. It is frequently smooth and flowing, but it may also exhibit technical rocky sections and may be criss-crossed with tree roots. Considered the best type of trail on which to ride mountain bikes.

Super D - a long downhill race with some climbing. Not nearly as much climbing as in XC, or as long of a race. Usually Super D has more technical downhill features, and lasts 20-30 minutes.

Travel - the amount that the fork is able to compress, thus, the larger amounts of force the bike can withstand.

XC - Cross Country, as in XC bike (less travel) or XC trail (uphill & downhill). XC racing is up and down hills, and courses are typically several miles long, and can take 2-4 hours to complete.